Yesterday a doggy drama unfolded, which also coincided with my parents going away on a day-trip, leaving my sister and I to deal with our wounded pupster. It started out with our little Westie limping and then plain refusing to walk on one of his front paws. This required an appointment with the vet that my sister and I had to oversee.
I am convinced that veterinary doctors are trained in rip-off artistry, because how else can a consultation cost £26? And of course you're going to stump up the costs because you love your pet and will pay whatever the vet tells you do in order to ensure they are comfortable and well. I feel bad for you if your pet actually needs treatment. Apparently bandages can be very expensive. The reasoning remains a mystery.
Matters weren't helped by the fact our vet seemed a little cuckoo. He laughed after after statement, which made the whole situation 100x more creepy than it needed to be. He didn't even laugh heartily. It was a breathy little thing, the kind you get from someone who hasn't socialised with other human beings in, well, ever. The fact that my younger sister and I were in charge of the situation was bad enough, without creepy little laughs and the like.
In the end it turned out that our dog has a wound in his paw, which has been there for a while and has become infected as a consequence. Cue poorly dog that has now become suspicious of our every action, no matter how well meaning.
The best part was when he peed in the middle of the vet's waiting room. He always wees inappropriately whenever we make him endure something he hates, like haircuts. We decided to take him to Pets at Home after his ordeal in order to buy him a treat, except he decided to repeat his inappropriate peeing all over a display of dog beds. We didn't stick around the store after that.
It's always a fun time when you head out into town with a dog.
The Perks of an Obsessive Personality
I have some amazing news to share with you all:
MERLIN RETURNS TO OUR SCREENS ON 6TH OCTOBER 2012!
Yes, fellow Merthur-shippers, our favourite Dragonlord and his bossy king return to our screens next week. Next Saturday. One Saturday (and an emotionally charged episode of Doctor Who) stands between us and a set of thirteen new episodes of Merlin.
I am so excited that words aren't sufficient enough to describe or capture said excitement. I am mute from excitement. I am actually typing this post out with my head. Not really, but I do seriously squeal whenever the trailer comes onto TV. That said, I squeal whenever I go onto the Merlin tag on Tumblr, squeak whenever I see Colin Morgan's face, weep insistently whenever I see Bradley and Colin together, and ship Merthur so hard that I swear my heart is in danger of exploding into a million tiny shards.
Yes, I am an obsessive fan.
I don't do things in halves. I either commit wholly or not at all. I submerge myself into all forms of fiction completely, even if that means taking an emotional battering when my favourites get hurt or die or some other crazy thing happens to them. I choose my television shows, books, films, bands and video games really carefully. Then I become obsessed and committed to these characters 510%.
Yeah, yeah. That doesn't make sense, but then being a fan doesn't either.
Merlin has been in my life a relatively short time, but you wouldn't think it when you hear me talk about it. I've been a fan for less than a year. I know, right? Yet I shipped Merthur almost from the start, fell in love with the cast and characters, loved the look and the stories, and started watching it weekly in diehard fan-mode. For those not in the know, this means watching a show AS IT AIRS not later on catch-up or on Sky+ or the equivalent BECAUSE THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I need to know what happened as soon as it is humanly possible to know what happened, which means watching the episode as it airs, then repeatedly watching it, talking about it and blogging about it.
Not in such a crazy manner, mind. I am a controlled obsessive fan who specifically directs my adoration and emotions in a specific place.
When I like a show, I really like a show.
Emotionally-Charged
I have been having a load of emotionally-charged dreams of late. Not surprising when you consider that I have a lot on my mind. What does come as a surprise is that these dreams aren't always made up of negative emotions. I am not only being consumed by negativity and fear, I am also being haunted by thoughts of future happiness, about the things I could come to have:
(a house, a car, a job, holidays, nights out, new friends, opportunities for social outings).
So, every time I sleep, I end up in the throes of heightened feelings. It is startling to be crippled by an emotional tumult in the middle of sleeping, especially ones that come on so strongly. Each night goes a little like this:
I'll be dreaming about something irrelevant, something not memorable in the slightest. I'll know I'm asleep. The next minute the dream flips and changes into something a little more charged. It could be a positive or negative emotion. More often than not its negative. The sadness will feel like a weight on my chest, one that I'm really aware of even in the middle of deep sleep. If I cry in the dream, I'm crying in my sleep. I can wake up some nights and find tears on my cheeks. I'm surprised I haven't woken someone else up with my crying.
Either way, I don't like this. It's surreal, being aware of your emotions and knowing that it's the dream causing the pain, but being unable to quench it. Worse still is waking with the emotions still raging around your mind. It's like waking in a bad mood, except you've gone towards a specific end of the scale (sadness, anger, happiness). It's like having your mind pulled in different directions.
As for the cause, it could be real life bleeding into my dreams. Whatever unsatisfied desires are kicking around in my unconscious during the day are thinking its acceptable to raid my dreams and emotionally attack my sleeping mind. Not cool.
The only foreseeable solution: sort out my life so that my mind stops screwing with me.
(a house, a car, a job, holidays, nights out, new friends, opportunities for social outings).
So, every time I sleep, I end up in the throes of heightened feelings. It is startling to be crippled by an emotional tumult in the middle of sleeping, especially ones that come on so strongly. Each night goes a little like this:
I'll be dreaming about something irrelevant, something not memorable in the slightest. I'll know I'm asleep. The next minute the dream flips and changes into something a little more charged. It could be a positive or negative emotion. More often than not its negative. The sadness will feel like a weight on my chest, one that I'm really aware of even in the middle of deep sleep. If I cry in the dream, I'm crying in my sleep. I can wake up some nights and find tears on my cheeks. I'm surprised I haven't woken someone else up with my crying.
Either way, I don't like this. It's surreal, being aware of your emotions and knowing that it's the dream causing the pain, but being unable to quench it. Worse still is waking with the emotions still raging around your mind. It's like waking in a bad mood, except you've gone towards a specific end of the scale (sadness, anger, happiness). It's like having your mind pulled in different directions.
As for the cause, it could be real life bleeding into my dreams. Whatever unsatisfied desires are kicking around in my unconscious during the day are thinking its acceptable to raid my dreams and emotionally attack my sleeping mind. Not cool.
The only foreseeable solution: sort out my life so that my mind stops screwing with me.
Time-Bomb
I made a new The Sims 3 music video. Hurrah.
When I say new, I mean the plot is one I created on the spot, as opposed to re-doing one of my more terrible and all-over-the-place The Sims 2 music videos. I've been doing that a lot lately, messing around with The Sims 3 features and expansion packs. Generations came with movie maker cheats, which just makes a girl super happy. One of the greatest things about The Sims 2 was the magic movie maker box you could make appear. Your Sims would then literally do anything for you, even die comically.
The Sims 3 initially disappointed me with its lack of magical, mystical yellow boxes. Even the movie maker bump-up Generations came with can't really compare to the system The Sims 2 had. You can't make your Sims die for you (which is really disappointing when you make depressing movies like I do) and the facial expressions and actions are harder to figure out. However, movie making in an open neighbourhood is pretty darn awesome.
So, as a final note, I present to you The Sims 3 music video of Time-Bomb (by All Time Low) as dreamed up by me. Please excuse the casual director-ness of the whole thing.
What To Do After University
Someone should really do something about graduates. I don't think they're prepared enough about the real world. How do I know this? I'm one of many unemployed graduates scattered across the country. In my world I am currently trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. This boils down to two key questions:
Should I settle for whatever work lands in my lap or should I focus my attention on developing a career that will ultimately make me happy?
Sometimes I feel that the two choices are synonymous, so inexplicably tied together that they are actually only one option, one solitary way forwards. Despite this, we naive graduates believe we have options and that we can be the masters of our own universes, that we have the ability to freely choose the next stage of our life. The reality is much starker. To survive in this world you must take what work is offered to you, and by doing so you will be contributing to your career development, although that might not be obvious from the start.
How is accepting seemingly any work helpful? Well, you could glean valuable skills from the world of employment, you can demonstrate nerve and determination and you can work a little magic on your CV in order to show the world you have value. That you will make an excellent contribution to whatever sector it is you wish to work in. Plus, it is better to be doing something than sitting idle.
Not only do you gain work experience, which is truly priceless in our current economic climate, you can earn some money too. Your very own hard-earned cash that is yours and yours alone. Spend it on whatever you will. You earned it. You could even work on your career development at the same time. Go and volunteer in your industry if all you can find is part-time or temporary work. Just don't let life pass you by. Time is precious and it wouldn't do to let it slip through your fingers.
If only matters were that simple. It has been the summer of discontent for me. I have tried my hardest to land work, only for nothing to come my way. I haven't had anything to distract me from my situation either. The weather has been poor and my friends are no longer a five minute walk away, having returned to their home towns in order to pursue their careers. Having friends who are dotted around the country is bittersweet. On the one hand you can visit them and see different parts of the world, but on the other hand, it means spontaneous cinema trips are out of the question. The combination of poor weather and distant/unavailable friends made for a lonely summer, interspaced with the odd day-out or trip to the cinema.
It's also left me feeling pretty jaded.
I want to work and earn my own money. I want to own a car. I want to be able to rent my own flat. I want my independence back. The issue is I can't even get a job. I just want the simple things, little pleasures. I want a purpose.
I'm not asking for the world. I just want to feel productive. Someone needs to go into schools ASAP and tell kids that university isn't the jewel of the career world it used to be. When everyone has a degree, it takes something special to land a job, something that only experience will give you. What I'm finding now is that I'm "too qualified" to work in retail or take on an apprenticeship. I'm "too intelligent" to do so-called menial tasks such as sorting the post.
And the worst part of those descriptions is that other people are giving them to me. This is how potential employers are perceiving me from the words on my CV and from my decision to pursue a degree. Nobody wants to give me the chance to show them I'm a capable individual, regardless of my background, and when I look at graduate jobs, I find that I need more work experience in order to fit the job specification.
I am stuck in no-man's land, the place between high-flying careers and the more general day-to-day jobs. I am fast losing the self-esteem I earned at university and I need a way to restore it.
Should I settle for whatever work lands in my lap or should I focus my attention on developing a career that will ultimately make me happy?
Sometimes I feel that the two choices are synonymous, so inexplicably tied together that they are actually only one option, one solitary way forwards. Despite this, we naive graduates believe we have options and that we can be the masters of our own universes, that we have the ability to freely choose the next stage of our life. The reality is much starker. To survive in this world you must take what work is offered to you, and by doing so you will be contributing to your career development, although that might not be obvious from the start.
How is accepting seemingly any work helpful? Well, you could glean valuable skills from the world of employment, you can demonstrate nerve and determination and you can work a little magic on your CV in order to show the world you have value. That you will make an excellent contribution to whatever sector it is you wish to work in. Plus, it is better to be doing something than sitting idle.
Not only do you gain work experience, which is truly priceless in our current economic climate, you can earn some money too. Your very own hard-earned cash that is yours and yours alone. Spend it on whatever you will. You earned it. You could even work on your career development at the same time. Go and volunteer in your industry if all you can find is part-time or temporary work. Just don't let life pass you by. Time is precious and it wouldn't do to let it slip through your fingers.
If only matters were that simple. It has been the summer of discontent for me. I have tried my hardest to land work, only for nothing to come my way. I haven't had anything to distract me from my situation either. The weather has been poor and my friends are no longer a five minute walk away, having returned to their home towns in order to pursue their careers. Having friends who are dotted around the country is bittersweet. On the one hand you can visit them and see different parts of the world, but on the other hand, it means spontaneous cinema trips are out of the question. The combination of poor weather and distant/unavailable friends made for a lonely summer, interspaced with the odd day-out or trip to the cinema.
It's also left me feeling pretty jaded.
I want to work and earn my own money. I want to own a car. I want to be able to rent my own flat. I want my independence back. The issue is I can't even get a job. I just want the simple things, little pleasures. I want a purpose.
I'm not asking for the world. I just want to feel productive. Someone needs to go into schools ASAP and tell kids that university isn't the jewel of the career world it used to be. When everyone has a degree, it takes something special to land a job, something that only experience will give you. What I'm finding now is that I'm "too qualified" to work in retail or take on an apprenticeship. I'm "too intelligent" to do so-called menial tasks such as sorting the post.
And the worst part of those descriptions is that other people are giving them to me. This is how potential employers are perceiving me from the words on my CV and from my decision to pursue a degree. Nobody wants to give me the chance to show them I'm a capable individual, regardless of my background, and when I look at graduate jobs, I find that I need more work experience in order to fit the job specification.
I am stuck in no-man's land, the place between high-flying careers and the more general day-to-day jobs. I am fast losing the self-esteem I earned at university and I need a way to restore it.